Mark Twain

‘Was you ever at a circus?’ said Tom.

‘Yes, and my pa’s going to take me again some time, if I’m good.’

‘I been to the circus three or four times — lots of

times. Church ain’t shucks to a circus. There’s things

going on at a circus all the time. I’m going to be a clown

in a circus when I grow up.’

‘And kill them?’

‘No, not always. Hive them in the cave till they raise a ransom.’

‘What’s a ransom?’

‘Money. You make them raise all they can, off’n their friends; 

and after you’ve kept them a year, if it ain’t raised

then you kill them. That’s the general way. Only you

don’t kill the women. You shut up the women, but you

don’t kill them. They’re always beautiful and rich, and

awfully scared. You take their watches and things, but

you always take your hat off and talk polite. They ain’t

anybody as polite as robbers —you’ll see that in any book. 

Well, the women get to loving you, and after

they’ve been in the cave a week or two weeks they stop

crying and after that you couldn’t get them to leave. If

you drove them out they’d turn right around and come

back. It’s so in all the books.’

‘Why, it’s real bully, Tom. I believe it’s better’n to be a pirate.’

‘Yes, it’s better in some ways, because it’s close to

home and circuses and all that.’